Petra Parody Lands at the Zone

[bakersfieldpethead]

No Sprouts
From the 1995 album “No Sprouts”

V1
There are times when you feel like you can’t eat on,
There are times when you feel like giving in,
There are times when you feel like you can’t try anymore,
And there are times when you feel like your sick,
They say if you’ll just taste it fast,
You’ll have your cake at last,
But is this diet that you try to endure,
One that makes you skinny for sure?

Chorus
No Sprouts and it will be alright,
With out them, you can still lose a mountain of fat
No Sprouts in the end you will be looking good,
No Sprouts, it will all work out,
Without them it won’t take any points away,
No Sprouts, there is power in freedom,
And after all is lost we find out,
All we really need to have is No Sprouts.

V2
There are times to eat a fatless dinner plate
There are times to measure your weight,
And there’s a way from learning from your past,
If you eat too much, you’ll lose your pants,
And sometimes we want to think we know
That eating fat won’t make our thighs grow,
So this diet of theirs that you’re using,
Is it the diet that was of your choosing?

Chorus
No Sprouts and it will be alright,
With out them, you can still lose a mountain of fat
No Sprouts in the end you will be looking good,
No Sprouts, it will all work out,
Without them it won’t take any points away,
No Sprouts, there is power in freedom,
And after all is lost we find out,
All we really need to have is No Sprouts.

Bridge
There will still be freezers of ice cream in our homes
That we fight through just to reach the ice,
But our faith can be building a fire,
To ensure our pants soon won’t be tight,

Chorus
No Sprouts and it will be alright,
With out them, you can still lose a mountain of fat
No Sprouts in the end you will be looking good,
No Sprouts, it will all work out,
Without them it won’t take any points away,
No Sprouts, there is power in freedom,
And after all is lost we find out,
All we really need to have is No Sprouts.

[bakersfieldpethead]

You've all been wondering so here it is..........

To Close to the Rail
From the 2010 album “Smacked By A Sock”

Saw the shine of the mall floor
Mike leaned over to see more,
A Fat man tripped and fell,
Sent Mike over the rail,
He fell from the balcony,
He fell on you and me,
I couldn’t see,

Chorus
Too Close, Too Close
He was too close to the rail,
Too Close, He was to close
Too Close, Too Close
He was too close to the rail,
Too Close, He was to close to the rail

He was shopping at the mall,
To buy a big bowling ball,
He fell with ball in his hand,
The ball was the thing that hit my head
When He fell from the balcony,
He fell on you and me

Chorus
Too Close, Too Close
He was too close to the rail,
Too Close, He was to close
Too Close, Too Close
He was too close to the rail,
Too Close, He was to close to the rail

I reached up to the heavens,
And he rolled over on me and it hurt,
I cried out for help but everyone ran
From the one who fell,
From the balcony,
He fell on you and me,

[SCJ-7]

The "New Versions" of the Petra songs are really good.

Excellent work.

[bakersfieldpethead]

thanks. I hope by next year, I'll finaly be able to record the Petra Parody album.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Smacked by a Sock
From the 2010 album “Smacked By A Sock”

Smacked by a sock and hit my eye
Now it’s swelled and it gave me a sty
Help Me, Help Me, Lord
I was smacked by a sock in my eye

Smacked by a sock and hit my eye
Now it’s swelled and it gave me a sty
Help Me, Help Me, Lord
I was smacked by a sock in my eye

V1.
There was an older gentleman who had a dirty sock
when he took it off his foot, it smelled like a wet hen,
A man come by to teese him,
He said to stop it please,
And he took his sock and swung it around
And it hit me hard,

Smacked by a sock and hit my eye
Now it’s swelled and it gave me a sty
Help Me, Help Me, Lord
I was smacked by a sock in my eye

Smacked by a sock and hit my eye
Now it’s swelled and it gave me a sty
Help Me, Help Me, Lord
I was smacked by a sock in my eye

[brent]

How dare you mess with the holy canonized scripture of Bob's. You should be banned fir creative humor. You're a very bad man. A very, very bad man.

[brent]

You say you've got the runs,
their comin' out your bottom
farts sounding like a horn
like a hundred Dodge Neons
You finally waddle home
your wife won't let you in
and then you have to shout it,
I pooped my pants again.

When you think you've gone enough
No more you can do
legs don't feel like standin' up
from your favorite stool
When the spray is almost gone
You haven't got a clue
How to fumigate your place

chorus....?

[zman7720000]

You are all going to hell!!!

[Dan]

I love a good laugh, but this thread is just sick.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Just Look At your Face

You say you've got the runs,
their comin' out your bottom
farts sounding like a horn
like a hundred Dodge Neons
You finally waddle home
your wife won't let you in
and then you have to shout it,
I pooped my pants again.

When you think you've gone enough
No more you can do
legs don't feel like standin' up
from your favorite stool
When the spray is almost gone
You haven't got a clue
How to fumigate your place

Chorus:
Just look at your face,
You have to go again,
Just look at your face,
Your colon’s gonna win,
Just look at your face,
You’re pooping out your guts,
Just look at your face,
Your hiney sounds like ducks.

you're turn?

[brent]

Just Look At your Face

You say you've got the runs,
their comin' out your bottom
farts sounding like a horn
like a hundred Dodge Neons
You finally waddle home
your wife won't let you in
and then you have to shout it,
I pooped my pants again.

When you think you've gone enough
No more you can do
legs don't feel like standin' up
from your favorite stool
When the spray is almost gone
You haven't got a clue
How to fumigate your place

Chorus:
Just look at your face,
You have to go again,
Just look at your face,
Your colon’s gonna win,
Just look at your face,
You’re pooping out your guts,
Just look at your face,
Your hiney sounds like ducks.

When you drink Slim Fast
it gets stuck in your throat
You want to spit it out
You want to drink a Coke
Your wife's eyes are on you
She wants some slimmer buns
you've got to fight temptation
to spit it out and run

It's time for you to be man
tell her what you think
You like being overweight
eating everything
You don't care about the gas
your soiled underwear
she says you stink up the place

Chorus:
Just look at your face,
You have to go again,
Just look at your face,
Your colon’s gonna win,
Just look at your face,
You’re pooping out your guts,
Just look at your face,
Your hiney sounds like ducks.

[Jan]

I was thinking about going to PC3 Indy, but..........now I'm scared.

[pmal]

I can't believe I'm doing this ...

Diarrhea, from 1987 album "This Means Sore"

Diarrhea of the worst kind, it ruins a pair of jeans,
You have to be so careful, you shouldn't have had those beans,
You hope that they weren't rotten, that will destroy your hole,
Don't let it burn and burn up in you, quickly find a toilet bowl

Diarrhea, Diarrhea, you've got to find a throne,
Diarrhea, Diarrhea, it can sound so loud and strong

Stuck all day at a theme park, Diarrhea comes his way,
As the pressure slowly but surely builds, He begins to pray,
He couldn't stop the trembles, He couldn't say a word,
Through the hour long wait line time, he begins to squirm

Diarrhea, Diarrhea, you feel like you're gonna die,
Diarrhea, Diarrhea, you don't know if you should laugh or cry

The sound coming from the stall brings you much disgrace,
But it's well worth it, it was worth the wait,
And in the cloud of putridness, great relief comes your way,

Diarrhea, Diarrhea, you're so happy you've found a throne,
Diarrhea, Diarrhea, you no longer have to grunt and grone,

[executioner]

lol, I can't believe I'm taking the time reading these.

[brent]

Those Gnarly Feet!

It's so easy to have shoes ruined
when your eyes aren't peeled
when you're walking on a crack
break your new high heels
It's so easy to think they're finished
to bow your head and cry
look back into the yellow book
and find a cobbler guy

(Chorus)
Your feet are old (Old!) and they're smelly girl
and they're as hairy as mens
You gotta Go (Go!) get a pedicure, I'm not tellin' you again

As long as there's a jagged nail and cuticle to file
As long as there's a callused soul and bleeding corns to slice
As long as there's an aching arch that keeps you off your feet
Please don't you rub them on me, those gnarly feet
You gotta keep them from me, those gnarly feet